Living at YES! Success Stories Archive

YES! stands for You Embracing Spirit!
In the LOGO, notice the symbol for the "Y" is a heart.
When you embrace Spirit - your heart is opened!

“My Life Was Out Of Focus Until I Decided to Reframe It.”
-- Carole Martin

For years Carole Martin just “went through the motions;” putting everyone else’s needs before her own- at the expense of her self esteem, self-respect and self-dignity. “I was on autopilot and just “existed” for a long while. I didn’t matter,” states this now vivacious 63 year old as we speak on the phone from her home on a picturesque spring morning in Camden, Maine. Carole, a single mother to four children with limited resources and limited skills, decided to make a fresh start by attending college to obtain a degree as her children were completing their schooling. As she began to come out of her shell and reconnect with the world, she still felt a void. “I knew I needed to find myself; I needed to make another change, only this change had to come from inside. I had done all the external changes and now it was time to look within myself- but I hadn’t a clue how to do it.”

But change didn’t come fast- or easy, for Carole. “I was stuck in a world where I placed a higher value on everyone else. Their needs came before mine. Not that anyone demanded that from me, it’s where I placed my self worth. Somehow, somewhere along the way, I lost who I was but unlike external changes where the tools are more easily recognizable and available, internal change requires a completely different toolbox!” I knew that in order to become whole and be the best person to myself and to my children, I had to keep working to find the solution.”

While Carole found great personal satisfaction in her career serving as a drug and alcohol counselor at both the Dauphin County Prison and the State Correctional Facility located in Camp Hill, PA, she was still unfulfilled in other areas of her life. “I enjoyed being a part of someone else’s success story and road to recovery, however in my own personal life I was just “going through the motions.” Deciding to seek the help of a counselor, Carole began to realize she had options. “It was a long, slow and hard process over many years and several different counselors but I knew that this was a first step.” Her “aha” moment came when she read the book “Awareness” by Anthony DiMello. “It had a profound effect on me. I would say it changed my life. I read it and reread it. I had tapes of it and for a long time although I thought it was profound I did not really understand it, really “get it.” But I knew I was on to something and I left no stone unturned in following the thread of what the message was. It was a spiritual message and I had a longing for it. I knew I was 52 years old and I was entering a new phase of my life. Part of me was thrilled with excitement- the other part was frozen in fear.” Leaving what is familiar to evolve and grow into a new perspective is lonely at times because you do not have a lot of people to talk to about it.

Then Carole met Sharon Marquart when she was a guest speaker at Unity Church in Palmyra, Pennsylvania. “By that time, my counselor had moved across the country. After hearing Sharon speak, I decided to give her a call because I thought she was on the same wave length as I was. I liked the way she brought everything into focus. She has an innate ability to get to the core of an issue and help you stop the leaks so you can turn inward and focus on how to move beyond the blocks.” In addition to her individual sessions with Sharon, Carole took her “A Year to Live” course. “It was a great course- and I enjoyed it and saw wonderful things happening with other people. I got a lot from it, but once again, I was focusing on what other people were gaining from the experience without focusing on me. I was still stuck.” Carole continued her sessions with Sharon, took a brief left turn and sold insurance policies. (“I was looking for a get rich quick” deal.” she confides.) but quickly returned to her career as a counselor- something she found had greater value than making money, it was about making a difference. Then one day Carole went to see her holistic Dr. for a rash that had developed on her arm. “It just wouldn’t go away- so I went to Dr. Richwine in Camp Hill and asked him if he could give me an ointment or some sort of salve for it.” Instead of writing out a prescription for the salve “he sat back in his chair, looked me square in the eye and said “I think you should get out of Dodge - get out of the prison, sell your house and move to Maine- your son is there, right? Begin fresh and get to know your grandchildren. Reconnect with your son and his family and let them reconnect with the new you.” “I was absolutely dumbfounded! I stammered a lot of excuses, I wasn’t ready to retire, I could not afford it, where would I get a job, I would not know anyone else. And at my age? I was 62 for crying out loud. Most people my age have long since dismissed the term “starting over” or “reinventing themselves” from their vocabulary. And my friends, coworkers and cohorts made no bones about telling me how crazy they thought I was for even entertaining this thought. You won’t like it in Maine. Its too far away and too cold. Yet, there was a small voice inside me saying “ Just Do It.”

Carole immediately called Sharon, who helped her turn self doubt into self confidence and self acceptance. “Sharon helped me realize that this was a golden opportunity to become my own person- to feel comfortable in my own skin, to stop doing for everyone else and to fully embrace my life. I believe there is a plan and things do not happen by chance. So I took the plunge and then relied on Sharon to help me make sense out of what just happened. I found that Sharon was very good at recognizing an outside issue and explaining how it was manifesting what was going on on the inside. Whatever happened in my outside world was a direct reflection of how I was utilizing my internal energy source. She puts a spiritual spin on practical issues. We spent many hours exploring how leaked negative energy from me tended to attract negativity toward me from others; and by the same token when I was full of positive energy, it radiated in all that I did. Sharon helped me to reframe my role from victim to victorious. She guided me to take back the power I had given to others all my life and empower myself to travel through this next phase of my life’s journey. What a glorious, self confident way to live.! All my children had married and moved away from the area. I knew I wanted to relocate to be near one of them and I chose Maine because I thought the slow pace would be just my speed. Despite its beauty there is an epidemic drug problem in Maine and when I interviewed for a job my soon to be new boss said, “God sent you here.” I work with a lot of people my age who are very professional and I make $8,000 more a year than I was making in Harrisburg. Its uncanny to think that within a year I sold my house, relocated and reframed my life. And best of all I have never looked back.”

Once she moved to Maine, Carole began to flourish beyond her expectations. Almost immediately she found a counseling position doing individual and group counseling at both a local correctional facility as well as office practice, reconnected with her son and grandchildren, found a spiritual group who meditate and do yoga, began hiking again and making new friends with the same interests as she has. It was as if her life’s journey had just been given the green light- at age 63! She also felt the need to share this knowledge with others and found an avenue to do this by becoming a elder in the “Spiritual Eldering,” movement. She was required to take an initial training course in South Bend, Indiana and then come back and do a year long internship. “I felt so rejuvenated by my awakened spirituality, which I have since learned is the task of eldering, that I wanted others to experience that same feeling. Now I’m certainly not suggesting that everyone uproot themselves, but I am suggesting that in order to keep from stagnating one must learn to be here now, living in the present moment seeing life as an adventure, a journey – and that every landmark, every bump in the road and every left turn has it’s purpose. In Spiritual Eldering, people take the time to review their lives and it begins to make sense to them as they have lived it. What this course basically does is to help people look back on their lives, reflect, repair, face their mortality and leave a legacy for the generations to follow. Once one understand what life is all about then we give back to the others who are following us on their own journey. Held at local senior centers, Spiritual Eldering workshops consist of a four week program designed for people in their sixties and seventies. Each group consists of 8-10 people who meet for 2 hours sessions to do written and oral exercises to connect on a deeper level within themselves and with others. It’s designed to bring to light the fact that every age has its meaning and to help people experience the soul’s wisdom through songs, poetry, lectures, small group discussion, and journaling and meditations This is far different from what our culture tells us, a culture that worships youth and believes the old people are obsolete and useless. Once the initial coat of protective armor comes off, it’s amazing how people begin to open us and “see” the truth. People have the opportunity to see patterns and threads that ran through their lives that resulted in their being where they are today. And Carole can share her story as a living example of living the principles.

These days, Carole keeps in contact with Sharon through weekly phone calls, updating her on what’s going on in her life and just “checking in.” She’s enjoying “the good life” in her charming cottage just minutes from the water, where nature’s canvas comes alive with color at every turn. It is a snapshot of beauty at its finest in all aspects. She is meeting new friends and keeping in touch with old friends through e-mail and phone calls. As our conversation comes to a close, Carole reflects for a moment and says she can see how her life has come full circle. And although she didn’t always feel that way this time of her life is the happiest she has ever been living out the spiritual principles of embracing her own power that Sharon helped her to experience and embrace. She gives Sharon a lot of credit in helping her to reframe and shift the focus and now she has it she wants to give it to others. I love my life, says Carole as she is proving that it’s never to late to alter the course that leads to living a life in full abundance.

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