Living at YES! Success Stories Archive

YES! stands for You Embracing Spirit!
In the LOGO, notice the symbol for the "Y" is a heart.
When you embrace Spirit - your heart is opened!

"A Writer's Journey from Darkness into Light." -- Susie Bates

As a writer, my job is to bring words to life. To create emotion through the written word, whether it be laughter, tears, or anger, it is the ultimate goal of any writer. What happens, however, when the writer can't show emotion? That was my story almost ten years ago. Twice divorced, at 33, I was a single mother, raising two children, trying to make ends meet by cleaning toilets and doing odd jobs at the family business, along with being a crossing guard at my kids' elementary school. (People used to tease me that I was a "street walker!) I wasn't unhappy, I just well, didn't allow myself to really feel. I merely existed... I just "was." I believe this stems from some childhood traumas I endured, but the bottom line is, we grow up and we can't continue to put blame on others- we have to take responsibility for ourselves and be who we want to be regardless of the backdrop our childhood provided us.

Although I dabbled in writing, I didn't have enough confidence to think I had what it took to be a full time writer- or a full time partner for that matter. I had been through two marriages and was at a standstill in the romance department. It wasn't for a lack of potential suitors- there were a few of those- it was because I didn't have enough confidence in my abilities to be someone's partner, mother, friend, etc. I kept my distance from everyone, even my children. A lifelong weight problem led me into an 18-year bout with bulimia. Yet, I taught aerobics at a local gym. People would come up to me and say "Wow,you look so healthy! How can I look like you?" I used to smile, say thank you and silently, under my breath, reply, "Thirty laxatives a day and bingeing and purging everything you put into your mouth, that's how." I was a walking advertisement for health on the outside, blonde, blue eyed, moderately petite, bubbly, but a complete emotional disaster on the inside.

I decided to take some time off and really figure out who I was. I had begun to explore spirituality- but didn't really have a sense of direction. That changed the day I met Sharon. Originally, Sharon was my neighbor. I remember walking outside and seeing her and thinking, "She is going to play a major role in my life." I didn't know how-or when, I just trusted my intuition and knew. I continued to delve deeper into figuring out who I was- along with reconnecting with my children. Even though I was there for them physically, emotionally I knew I was disconnected. I had built up so many walls over the years I didn't know how to connect with anyone- not even myself. I began to get to know who I was-but some of the old habits were so deep rooted that I knew I needed external help. My kids took care of Sharon's mail once when she was on vacation, and they came over and told me how magical her house was. I walked in and immediately felt a sense of calm. "Magical" to them interpreted "spiritual" to me. There were loving sayings, thriving flowers, plants, and Sharon's beautiful "heart artwork" paintings were displayed on the walls. I could feel positive energy flowing from every corner as a sense of peace began to flow over me. I knew inside I'd found someone who would "get me." But I didn't do anything about it at that time. I wasn't ready.

Then I met the man who would be my "third time's a charm." I knew this was "the one." In each of my prior marriages, I knew deep down for various reasons it wouldn't work-however, I figured, "we'll grow into it." Not with this man. I used to dream about marrying "an officer and a gentleman"-after that movie came out. People thought I was too dramatic. "The little dreamer" is what they used to call me. As a writer, I have to admit, I've been guilty of trying to live my life through the fictitious characters I'd created. But this was real. He proposed to me in Annapolis, on the campus of the Unites States Naval Academy where he graduated. It was a dream come true. I still wasn't completely healthy, but I was healthy enough to realize the potential that was there. We asked Sharon to marry us- and she agreed. It was a lovely ceremony. Small, intimate. I was happier than I had ever been in my life- or so I thought.

My inability to really address and deal with my past issues was coming back to haunt me in this seemingly idyllic setting. Even though I had drastically reduced it, I hadn't completely conquered the bulimia. I had also not addressed some deep-rooted issues I had developed as a child. These two things combined began to resurface my insecurities-and start to chip away at my marriage. And then everything began to snowball -in the course of a year I had a baby, my husband lost his job yet still had to continue to pay child support and alimony on time, I had a surgery that almost claimed my life, and we moved! Talk about a whirlwind! I had survived physically, but felt like I was "going through the motions" from an emotional standpoint. I lost interest in myself physically, I lost interest in intimate relations with my husband, and I became very withdrawn from my children, friends, and family. I had stopped writing, exercising, and meditating- all things that I knew were crucial to keeping inner core strong. The only thing I wasn't doing was bingeing and purging. As a result, I gained 60 pounds. I knew I needed help.

I called Sharon to set up some one on one coaching sessions. I told her I had everything in life I wanted, why wasn't I happy? Sharon said the most amazing thing-she said, "You've gone through, and needed to go through, a personal "tsunami"- now it's time to start over and rebuild your life. And it clicked. I had to dig deep into myself to get to the root of what was causing me so much inner conflict. I saw Sharon weekly, sometimes twice a week if necessary. Her ability to zero in on the cause was amazing. She didn't allow me to point fingers or get too entangled in an emotional web. It was work. And it wasn't always easy. But slowly, surely, I began to feel a shift. I also began to join various workshops and participate in group sessions such as "Living an Abundant Life;" "Embrace Your Magnificent Self" and Sharon's "Entrepreneurial Spirit" groups. At first, all I did was come and listen. I was still enmeshed in "my own stuff" to really be able to see beyond my own issues. I also began to edit Sharon's weekly inspirational messages. For me, they were invaluable tools. I would get a preview of the message- work with it and polish it, and then send it back to Sharon. What it did for me was allow the message to sink in on a much deeper level. It was like I got an extra boost between sessions! Eventually, within a year and a half, I began to enjoy life and experience what living in abundance was for the first time.

Eventually, as I opened my heart- more gifts began to come to me and enrich my life in ways I didn't think were possible. I have three healthy children, a wonderful marriage, and a thriving career as a writer. I finally got the inner core strong- and am now working on my outer core, without the crutch of bulimia. Now if someone comes up to me and says "You look so healthy! How do you do it?" I can be honest both with them and myself. I will tell them "Through proper diet, energy work, meditation, writing, and loving myself." I hope to go back to teaching fitness classes at some point- although that isn't a priority to me right now. Most importantly, I have learned to live one day at a time. That doesn't mean I don't still have moments of doubt, but every time I do, I remember an analogy Sharon used when I first began my sessions with her. She said, "At first, you're down inside the manhole and you can barely see light. Then, eventually, with time, you work your way up- and when you slip, you don't fall down quite as far. Eventually, you work your way up and out of the manhole, embracing all the light. And your ultimate goal is to get to the other side of the street- completely away from the darkness altogether." I use that scenario whenever I face a challenge or want to fall into old habits. I'm not quite on the other side of the street, but I am definitely in the light- and I believe Sharon and our work together had a lot to do with that. My recent challenge has been the transition of my husband working in Virginia Mon-Fri each week due to a career change. Things will stay this way for at least another year until my eldest daughter graduates from high school. It isn't easy, but both my husband and I make sure we check in with Sharon for a "touchstone" session to keep connected. And it does make a difference. I also wake up each morning and read Sharon's- "9 steps to a Happier, Healthier You" and remind myself each day which ones I have embraced, and which I still need to work on. I am also able to feel- and emote, which in turn is reflected in my work. My words can penetrate others, because they have been felt by me first. That has made all the difference.

What is your personal "Living at YES!" success story?
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About "Personal Success Stories" Author
Susan Bates is a freelance writer with over 25 years experience editing and writing copy for print, radio and television media. She works with a variety of clients for large and small writing and editing projects. Susan is currently at work on several nonfiction and fiction novels. Susan can be reached at WriterInc1@aol.com